:KaBlooog!

Gone are the days when most PBA players’ monikers like Alvin ‘The Captain’ Patrimonio or ‘El Presidente’ Ramon Fernandez or Samboy ‘The Skywalker’ Lim sounded cool. Blame the present crop of PBA broadcaster wannabes’ creativity, or lack thereof. Here are some that I’ve heard so far. I’ll update the list when I get the chance to catch a game on TV.

1. Olsen "Ra-Ra" Racela - joke ba to?
2. "Wild wild Wes" Wesley Gonzales - eto pa isa. ewan ko na lang.
3. Danny "The Dynamite" Seigle - this one actually I thought was ok considering his scoring
4. Enrico "The Raging Bull" Villanueva - dati ito nung nasa Red Bull pa sya, pano ngayon nasa Magnolia na sya? The Raging Magnolia?
5. "Marvelous" Marvin Cruz
6. "Amazing" Arwind Santos
7. Asi "The Rock" Taulava - I think they tried to name him "The Volcano" (Tau-LAVA, gats?) but this one stuck. Originality? Zero points
8. Ali "The Man Mountain" Peek - 6′4" lang sya, pero siguro yung nagbansag nito ngayon lang nakakita ng ganun katangkad na tao
9. "The Hawk" Bong Hawkins - galata lang talon nito ni Hawkins pero da hawk pa rin. Magaling magaling
10. John "The Arsenal" Arigo - eto ang arsenal na walang bala
11. Jeffrey "The Jet" Cariaso
12. KG "The da Vinci of Dunk" Canaleta - eto ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit nawawalan ako ng gana manood pag si Mico Halili ang commentator
13.a. Kelly "The Human Highlight Film" Williams - magagalit ba si Dominique "The Human Highlight Reel" Wilkins pag nalaman nya to?
13.b "Machine Gun" Kelly Williams - narealize nila siguro kung gano kabulok yung una nilang naisip
14. Benjie "The Tower of Power" Paras - classic to, wala rin tayong magagawa sobrang tangkad na ng 6′4" nung araw
15. Wynne "The Snatcher" Arboleda
16. Freddie "The Scavenger" Abuda
17. "The Flash" Lordy Tugade - "Flash E-Lordy" –> Flash Elorde… gets?
18. Mike "The Cool Cat" Cortez
19. Jimmy "Mighty Mouse" Alapag
20. "Mr. Pure Energy" Gary David - Gary D. –> Gary V. … hindi ko pa nakitang sumayaw si David
21. Willie "Thriller" Miller - rhyme naman eh
22. James "Boy Thunder" Yap - parang member ng gang
23. Paul "Boy Kidlat/Lightning" Artadi - ditto
24. "Big Mama" Billy Mamaril - mama as in mamang pulis
25. Johnny "Flying A" Abbarientos - pano si Samboy Lim, Flying L?
26. "Major Pain" Erik Menk - di ko alam kung san galing to..
27. Mark "The Spark" Caguioa
28. Rommel "The General" Adducul
29. "The Golden Boy" Noy Castillo - at least nung college pa sya nabansagan nito
30. Cyrus "Skyrus" Baguio - talagang wala na kayong maisip noh?
31. Junthy "The Assassin" Valenzuela
32. Marlou "The Skyscraper" Aquino
33. Dennis "The Menace" Espino - wala bang rhyme na iba ang Dennis or Espino
34. Mac "Captain Hook" Cardona